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Hey, I’m out there somewhere. 🙁 Courtesy of OHA

It’s Friday, Friday, have to come down Friday! Remember this song? What is Rebecca Black doing these days anyway? Trick question: I know the answer, she still makes music and she is on instagram and she actually seems really fun and well-adjusted and queer and I’m happy for her! FUN FUN FUN FUN.

IN THE LOCAL NEWS:

• Oregon hit a high pandemic level today with nearly 11,000 positive or presumptive positive cases. I am one of the new cases this week (actual facts), and even with a vaccine and a booster it has sucked! Pro tip for anyone catching the ‘cron this wave (which will likely be many of you): stock up on yellow gatorade and make sure you’ve located a good place pho who delivers. (These tips are not endorsed by the CDC, but trust me. Or if you don’t trust me or the CDC, trust our Isabella Garcia who wrote this informative article on what ‘must do if you catch the ‘cron!)

• As Alex reported earlier today, a majority of city employees who are represented by the District Council of Trade Unions voted to strike following the impasse in contract negotiations. Portland City Commissioners released a statement in which they “remain incredibly grateful to our employees and all that they bring to Portland.” This is the message to the public. At the union, they proposed a retroactive 1.6% increase in the cost of living for 2021, a year in which inflation hit over 6%. Acknowledgement? Rather splat-itude. As in the offer went splat. Because it was bad.

• Related: this tweet:

How to Apply for a New Job After Getting Out of a Hostile Work Environment https://t.co/Lt2cAxauYk pic.twitter.com/XDXHDRhFRe
— The Oregonian (@Oregonian) January 21, 2022

• A Hood River snowboarder heads to Beijing to represent the United States at the Olympic Games! The Olympics confuse me, but I have nothing but love for my hometown and hope Sean Fitzsimmons makes us proud. Go Eagles.

• More sport: have you read the beautiful article by Abe Asher on the departure of Diego Valeri from the Portland Timbers? You should.

IN NATIONAL/OTHER NEWS:

• Since I had COVID, my week was quite rough. Corn Trump was even worse, and it makes mine better. 🙂

• As bad : the stock market! This is the worst since March 2020, so don’t check your investment portfolio you definitely have today. Look at the wavy lines going down:

Breaking News: Wall Street had its worst week since March 2020, with stocks falling for the fourth day in a row. https://t.co/VQKJURwZHc
— The New York Times (@nytimes) January 21, 2022

• The FBI announced today that Brian Laundrie admitted to killing Gabby Petito in a notebook discovered near his body. I hope this will bring a solution to the families.

• It’s back for 2022! America’s sexiest and funniest dirty movie festival, HUMP! Starting February 24 at Revolution Hall—GET YOUR TICKETS NOW!

• Encanto became the first motion picture soundtrack to reach number 1 since 2019 and this TikTok encompasses exactly how I feel about it: